Should I Say This?
How much do we really act out in support of other women? How often do we honestly say what we feel in act of supporting another woman?
It is a little uncomfortable to be sure, a little awkward and uninviting especially in an online sense, and to be personally honest, for myself, it feels completely foreign and outside of myself to reach out with a comforting hand to lift up another who I barely know, and thinking again how will others receive it? Feeling even that perhaps I could not say the right thing to encourage.
Starting out particularly, it feels almost forced and ingenuine. A form of conversation completely new and ever changing, and therefore all too often ignored.
Internet relationships are a subject most people leave out of the conversation, pushing it again further out into some sort of questionable existence, where we know it exists but continue on feeling as though it doesn’t really matter.
Attempting and fumbling to read them, to feel comfortable within them, stretching to understand the boundaries or maneuver within them, and yet naturally always feeling a little distanced.
And in light of all considerations should we not ask
are we even (honestly as humans) comfortable being online friends- existing in an inanimate space - and if we are can we then say we are fair female friends?
When it is so easy to ignore and to be silent, to be supportive or to be equally as unsupportive as we all hide behind a name or a page.
And instead of fueling safe and inspiring communal spaces, we may find a painful silence that seems to say-why should another succeed if I am not succeeding?
Perhaps even to say- This person is already succeeding they can help me succeed.
But in both ideas I find competition. I find the idea rolling back around to self and self success.
There is competition in silence.
There is competition in ignoring others.
In being ignored, in feeling unsupported.
Surely we can see the miscommunications and fogginess of female support in an internet age.
We can see envy and competition still exist, we can feel it even if we try to sort it out under some idle misunderstanding, I can feel it, can you not?
And should I be honest and say I feel it? Because there is inherently competition and envy within us all, but competition is defeated through honest community, through encouragement and individual validation.
If we all work to lift up another we can all build communities of support,
we can all lend the hand that we ourselves are seeking to find,
and through this journey we may all have a chance to succeed.
We can make it plainly known that
There is room enough in the world for all peoples, ideas, and heartfelt desires,
Room enough for all to have and to create their own community And there is room enough in the world for all communities to succeed.
We must call this issue to the surface, we must hold it up to the light so that it is clean and clear for all.
We can not be envious of another.
We can not feel lesser than because another looks greater.
We can not sit quietly by judging another.
We can not be half supporters.
We can not hold an idea of equal rights and female empowerment while we sit idly by, disinterested in the progresses or struggles others’ are having.
We must act in support of the success we see around,
even if we ourselves are not apart of it.
Lift and encourage and speak out to
push them on
for we each need someone, many in fact, to come along to cheer us forward.
To offer a kind word of interest and support.
It cannot be overlooked, for each woman is accountable for lifting another up.
Not once, not the same, but all and many times over, always digging further to pull in another, to lift up one more and make them apart of this endeavor.
Each with our own efforts chipping away at the ceiling marked over head, at the judgments and envy that creep even out of good intentions, and
with our continuous effort to push others, we shall push ourselves.
Words and photos by Brianna Holman
I'm Brianna, a simple, honest lady, finding my way through my mid twenties, writing, reflecting, questioning, and improving; always seeking to move forward, to push myself outside of my comfortable norm. Now with my husband and our eight dogs we've chosen to consciously live with less making possible our ability to travel across country in our Fleetwood trailer. I am an admitted, continuous work in progress, in search of more questions to answer, ways to understand, and stories that enlighten. I seek understanding in every aspect of life, I seek empathetic understanding for everyone in life. I seek to reflect an honest life and inspire humble thoughts.